LARRY CRAIG

Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Something’s wrong, he don’t seem to come back
Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Why don’t he tell us what’s wrong with the government?

He swiped his hand beneath the stall
From the front door to the back
The palm of his hand was facing up
The detective, he signalled back
Once, twice, three times he did swipe
You could see the gold ring upon his finger
Despite his quotes and conservative votes
In the lavatory he’s a free thinker

Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Something’s wrong, he don’t seem to come back
Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Why don’t he tell us what’s wrong with the government?

He said he was not guilty
But guilty was the plea
Of course, it was confusing to him
That cop was cute as he could be
A wide stance is a hell of a thing
When you’re trying to find your toilet paper
But what’s worse is when you wake the next day
To find your bullshit all across the paper

Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Something’s wrong, he don’t seem to come back
Larry Craig, where’s he gone?
Why don’t he tell us what’s wrong with the government?

Our favorite son in Washington
Still works for you and me
Kissing ass and pulling strings
He operates in secrecy
I hear he found his paradise there
You could call it Larry’s “Second Coming”
‘Cause when he heads to the lavatory
All the boys still in the closet come a running
All the boys still in the closet come a running
All the boys in the closet, they say
“It’s Larry’s Second Coming!”

A Song Can Tell A Story

When words leave off, music begins.

LARRY CRAIG